This is not what I signed up for

This was written several yrs ago during a bad time of schooling....

Sometimes motherhood is not what it seems like it was supposed to be. Have you ever sat down and wondered when the JOY will come?
When that little baby is first placed in your arms joy just overwhelms you. For many months, years after it is the same things. But somewhere it begins to wane. And Motherhood is less joyful. The days are filled with school, chores, discipline, refereeing, etc.
You wonder if something is wrong with you. You think, It must be me! You feel horrible, but don't know what to do about it, or who to turn to.
You try to seek the LORD and plead for divine intervention, you pray for peace of mind, and wisdom and it all seems vain.
Once again our school year has lacked to fun and joy I thought homeschooling would be. All the neat stuff we plan seems to be pushed aside to get to the 3 r's. Not much else besides life at home, church, and school is done. No clubs or extras happen and it is driving us nuts.
I think this is called BURN OUT! My life seems consumed not with simply being a wife and mother, which is enough by itself.
Oh no! Homeschooling consumes me.
It seems like my days consists of getting everyone to their lessons, asking repeatedly did you finish math? Are you done your Science?
If I don't check up on them at regular intevals some of them would skip math or spelling totally.
Then there is the noise level. It seems like they have to shout all day and to get their attention to be quiet I have to be louder.
Plus, all I feel like I do is sit and wait around day after day for lessons to be done. It doesn't bother them to listen to mouth noises from their brother or sister, but the moment I type a word or take up my crochet hook, it is just too distracting and they will sit and do nothing but watch me work.
I've been schooling now for over 15 yrs. My goals have always been to raise children who can manage a check book, write a decent letter, read fairly well, but supremely Love the LORD first.
That alone is asking alot. So I suppose if we ONLY accomplish those things, we will have succeeded and JOY will be mine, after it is all said and done.
Thanks for visiting. Til Next time, bye