Welcome to the Family Homeschool Circus!
Looking back on our 14+years of homeschooling, I realize much of it was/is spent trying to meet expectations that were unrealistic.
When we started homeschooling in the early 1990's we subscribed to the top homeschool magazines of the day "Teaching Home" and "Practical Homeschooling". Also, looking for support as a SAHM we got others that viewed our choices a "the best" and most Godly. In all these magazines, a "day in our life" was a regular feature. EAch issue was a diary-like article of a homeschool family's daily life. The feature family had it all together...schedule, curriculum, church, family, etc. In their homes, they did more before noon than most people do in 3 days. The picture painted by these SUPER families came across to the average reader as THE GOAL, something to reach for, to strive towards. Let's face it, when you have no idea what you are doing, or what to expect, you look to the experience and expertise of those who have gone before. The same was true for us with homeschooling.
In brief the feature family was: large-least 4 children; baked their own bread, raised livestock for milk, eggs, and meat unless they were vegetarian which meant they ate only organic stuff; ran a business from home where all the children old enough to have a "job" helped out; housework and the like were all divvied out and done properly without complaint on the part of the "doer"; and the biggie....all the children were at LEAST 3 grade levels above the average, gladly, and managed to maintain this pace in only a 3-4 hr. slot of time each day.
There is a saying about if you tell people something is so enough times they'll believe it...well...I swallowed this all....hook....line...and sinker.... I set my standards so high that failure was not just probable it was sure.
At 2-3 we started drilling phonics, planning on the children (3 of them at the time) to be reading well about grade level by kindergarten. Imagine how shocked I was when they failed. At times I was mad at THEM for failing.
Then there was math....simple right??? Wrong!!!! No math geniuses here either.
On every subject they were failing, WE were failing. We knew they were not imbeciles (no offense intended) so what WAS the problem. I've always believe if you don't set a goal you'll hit it everytime.
Each year we'd strive for success (like the magazine families) and each year ended with us failing to meet the mark. This went on for years before I realized that the "feature family" in hte magazine must be the unusual one, not us. As I began to meet REAL people who homeschooled I learned that they were struggling iwth the same things we did. There was nothing wrong with us, we just need to reasses our goals, and make them more attainable. Essentially, we needed to set goals that were realistic for who we are, and for our lifestyle. (I forgot to mention the battles over vegan foods, and organic stuff and wanting to homestead-mind you at the time we lived in Queens NYC with not even a balcony-where were we supposed to do that stuff!)
Another eyeopener was taking the classroom school mentality out and replacing it with a tutorial style school. A.C.E. in my opinion is excellent in assisting you to do this. Their curriculum may not be as advanced or full or challenging as others BUT give them credit for creating something that is easy to use and student oriented rather than teacher orientated.
Understanding that children learn different ways, even in the same family, relieved much stress as well.
The biggest thing I learned was "LOok not on the things of others" and it is not wise to compare ourselves among ourselves.
Each family is a unique creation of God. He knows what our family needs, what it is capable of in the realm of spiritually, physically, (I forgot that the feature families were all musical family's who traveled singing and playing for Jesus sake.)emotionally and mentally. Some families can "do it all" and nothing suffers for it. For other families the slightest variant in their routine gets them off track for weeks.
Would I like to be among those feature families who have it all together? In some ways yes-but that is pride speaking. In some ways no-failing along the way would hinder others. So, as difficult as some days, weeks, months and years, have been, are or will be, I have accepted that this is who we are. We are ourselves. We can look to ans aspire to grow and expand and strive to go further, but ultimately, we will only go as far as God allows us anyway.
My wishes and dreams were alway very simple....raise children who love God and desire His will FIRST, and who upon graduation can read, write and do arithmetic SECOND. Would it be nice to have a few excell academically? Honestly? Yes! BUT only if they are doing it because God wills it and they will use that ability and talent for Jesus sake.
The show must go on!
