When we first started homeschooling in 1992, all the popular homeschool magazine articles about homeschools families made a HUGE deal about them getting up at 5AM, having chores and breakfast, including feeding chickens, milking cows by hand etc, all done by 7AM, and in school by 7:15 or so. Then noonish, one o'clockish, they were done with bookwork and had time for fun and naps.
New homeschool moms can read stuff like that and think that is how it is supposed to be. ( I did) When they find they can't get everyone moving before 8AM, and just feeding children and getting out of pjs takes utnil 10AM, with the arrival of new babies (which all homeschoolers are supposed to pop out annually-I say that with a touch of sarcasm and wishful thinking), these moms feel like they can't do it. They see themselves as failures. They think they are messing up their children for life, that they'd all be better off sending their children to school-often the only alternative being public school, and that they need to get a job to help with expenses since there is no "need" for them to be home.
It would be great for magazines to publish the reality of homeschooling, and not just someone's schedule, which for many folks is just out of reach.They intend to be encouraging, but in the long run, those type of articles can have negative consequences. Especially for those who, like many folks we know, are homeschooling, but they are just going through the motions, and/or have a take-it or leave-it view--they are not homeschooling because they believe God led them to do it. Which is really the crux of it, ya know?
It doesn't matter what good endeavors we do as Christians, it might be pastoring, being a missionary, or the church janitor, if God didn't/doesn't lead us to do it, not doing it is not such a big deal. We can move on to the next thing in life without a second thought if it seems reasonable to us.
From talking to many homeschoolers and Christians, especially since our family went online, well-intentioned friends, family, teachers, preachers, etc. often, (unwittingly?) put pressure on others to conform to a certain "image". They usually have scriptural principles to back up their ideas, but in their teaching, preaching and talking about it, they forget to advise people to seek God's face on the matter before committing to it. They fail to remind women to be sure their husband doesn't grunt "I don't see it that way, but you can do it if you want to", but that he agrees with, or is agreeable to any changes they are going to enact PRIOR TO enacting them.
During the election when....the "waffler" was running for president, people didn't like that. His flip-flopping went against the character and qualities people seek in electing a good president.
In the body of Christ, there are alot of wafflers. People will accuse them of them being compromisers or legalistic, or extreme or liberal...etc. I've seen this up close with people I love and care about, friends who one day bring up a topic they know we disagree on but never fight over, and suddenly they are defending their stance to me in an aggressive manner. A couple weeks later, they have moved to a conservative or liberal viewpoint, which they aggressively seek to conform me to as well. As time passes their stance on standards, and issues, and doctrines, flip-flop from extreme to extreme, and to onlookers they appear to be "compromisers". I've heard this said to folks, and about folks. Personally, I think their intention is to be right with God, and whatever church or circle they are in, they conform to the standards and practices of that group. When they move on, they might conform to the new groups ideas, or revert to the ones they started with. In reality, it isn't that they compromised at all, but rather that they conformed to a standard that wasn't a conviction to them. The true compromise was in their conformity. At times conformity is done out of respect, and at other times conformity occurs due to verbal and non-verbal peer pressure so they fit in. My hope is that when I speak of matters on which people have strong beliefs, that if my teaching/speaking/convictions/beliefs differs from their own, that they will not feel the need to copy me to be my friend, or fit into my circle.
It helps me to remember that the same Holy Spirit that lives inside me as a Believer, also resides in other Believers. It's His job to convict a person to change, or not. It is only my duty to make sure He is leading me to speak/teach etc, and leave the results to Him. Each one of us will stand and give an account at the judgment seat.
Terry at home in PA 